Some reflections & explorations from me on the very ripe topic of:
(Warning: this may be a little challenging to read)
Lets get honest. Where does your sense of worth currently lie or feel challenged?
- in your body shape/image
- in how attractive he finds you
- in how many likes and comments you get on Facebook
- in how many followers you have on instagram
- in how many people are coming to your events
- in how many clients or job offers you have
- in how many messages are in your inbox from friends
- in how many social invites you have
- in how much people rely on you
- in how much you help and care for people
- in the cost of your possessions
- in how much of the world you've seen and travelled
- in being right, smart, clever
- in feeling more powerful than others/better than
- in having ticked all the social standard life-boxes e.g. house, car, marriage, kids, allotment etc!
How much do the above define & justify your mood? day? overall feeling of self? As long as we are heavily identifying with any of the above as what makes us feel good about ourselves, not only are we disconnected from a real sense of Self, but also strongly upholding the false identity that keeps the true power of being on lock down, buried underneath a heavy rubble of masks, inherited beliefs, lack of self-love and compromise.
What if we were to step back and take a look at those aspects of our life that keep us feeling tolerant about our sense of worth? How would you feel without them? I know its a little scary to loosen the grip but its also very healthy to gain prospective on any false hooks that keep us pulled away from what we are ACTUALLY FEELING when we get honest with ourselves. Where are you justifying? Defining? Amping up? Excusing? Hiding?
Its ok... honesty counts for everything. Its damn courageous to get that brutally honest with ourselves.
And when there can be a little wider perspective of what movements are going on, ask: How afraid am I to feel (go through this list & stop at the one that feels most uncomfortable - that's your gold):
• hatred for my body,
• isolated from people,
• uncared for,
• exhausted for giving so much of myself
Its not that these feelings are reality, not at all. They are just feelings, stifled away in the body that in fact suppress a true sense of worth. And ironically to suppress an uncomfortable feeling is ultimately a rejection of self-worth. Your body feels the response of 'sorry nope that feeling is too hard to feel, im pushing that aside' and the recognition of; once again 'love is not welcomed here' is imprinted into the cells. Building up yet thicker walls and defenses against allowing love to penetrate in on itself (i.e. what we are all referring to as self-love).
True sense of worth does not lie in any outer measurements, it lies fully in how deeply we are capable of loving. And to be clear; not in our capacity to love another (that comes with the territory), but loving these hidden aspects of self that remain trapped under centuries of fear and conditioning.
Lets get curious, and allow the revolution of honouring our feelings to continue with a gesture of willingness to not settle for anything less than what's real and true. I pray that we all have the courage to stop turning away from what feels unbearable and uncomfortable, and continue to revisit these places. I pray that we all get to taste the true freedom and joy that arises from having loved so deeply and so widely. And I pray that we can all stand as compassionate light bearers for one another, as we quietly yet passionately walk ourselves home.
**NB: The journey of turning low self-worth in on itself is one of facing deep pains and traumas from the past, none of us are alone in this and it is always ok to ask for support from someone that can hold the space for you to meet yourself gently. For anyone that needs support resting into that which feels uncomfortable or unbearable, welcome to get in touch for 1:1 support and a free 30 min trial. Click here.